Web sites give net users cheap thrills
Josh Ray

Diversions Editor

It is time for the weekend.

But you have nothing to do. You have no money to go see a movie. No girls are willing to go out (because you have no money). It s not Sunday night and therefore not time to start hitting the textbooks. There is nothing good on television and no good videos to rent. And you do not have a video game system. So what are your options?

Well, considering that those are the way most of my Fridays and Saturdays go, I decided to surf the net and find something fun there. I was not disappointed.

The first site I found that was pretty cool was one most people do know. It was thespark.com. It s an OK site to just mess around with for a little while. You can take different tests on personality, love and pureness. The pureness test seems to be the most fun on the whole site. It consists of a bunch of questions that in the end come down to one thing, how good or bad of a person you are. It s fun to take, but can be a downer, especially if one s pureness end up on the level of 23 percent. That just sucks. Also, the personality test, when you enter your e-mail and your friends  e-mails, will match you up with people who have the same personality as you.

Other tests on the site include a bastard test, bitch test and a death test. The death test is funny because it will tell you an exact day and year you will die, as well as the most probable reasons for your death.

All in all, this is not a site to spend a whole lot of time on (there are only so many tests you can take), but for a few minutes of laughter, it is worth it.

After you are tired of reading all the tests, do you not want to just watch some clips? So click on the bar at the top of your screen, and type in stickdeath.com. This site is hilarious. The whole thing is dedicated to clips of little stick figures doing exceptionally stupid things and then getting hurt in the process. The Superbeast series is extremely awesome, if nothing else than because it has an awesome soundtrack behind it.

Actually, the whole site uses awesome music. With everything from Rob Zombie to Disturbed to System of a Down, the music rocks just as much as the site does.

One bad thing about the site is that some of the pages do not open quickly.  The Carrot Patch  clip shows a parody type of thing of a concentration camp for the Taliban. It takes a while to load, but it is worth the wait. Everything on the site is worth whatever wait there is for the clip to hold.

Oh yeah, did I mention there were games to play on the page? Yeah, you can play such types of games where you are cleaning out a crack house or driving a four-wheeler past stick figures with guns. The games are somewhat fun. In other words, they will keep your attention for a few moments, but probably not for very long.

Unlike the previously mentioned Web site, this one is not for just everybody. The opening page has a warning that proclaims  Graphic CARTOONS depicting stick people being  killed  ahead. No bitching allowed.  Which basically means, if you can t handle what is shown, either deal with it or go to a different site. And speaking of the opening page, when visiting the site, you should definitely watch the intro. It takes a while to load up, but it is absolutely awesome.

The last site I went to was collegehumor.com. This site basically has anything and everything you could want. It hosts a score of pictures, stories, video clips, sounds and jokes that will keep you laughing for a long time. It takes forever to go through everything on this site because there is just so much. So if you want to surf the whole Web site, you might want to allocate a few hours. But don t do that. Look through a few at a time. Save the rest for those times when the homework and the madness of life is just getting you down. Then load up the site and let all your problems go away as you see videos/photos of drunk people doing stupid stuff, very suggestive snow sculptures, and everything else you ever could imagine.

Actually, you can use all of these sites to kill time and break the monotony of your dull life, especially Stick Death and College Humor. These sites are guaranteed to make you laugh harder than you have in a long time. So one night, when you re sitting at home all alone, just load up a site and let the fun begin.